You can knock me down and watch me bleed
But you can’t keep no chains on me. 


Thanks for the joy that you've given me
I want you to know that I believe in your song
Rhythm and rhyme and harmony
You help me along, oh, you're makin' me strong

spring break!!!!

My spring break wasn't half bad this year. Well actually it wasn't very good but it wasn't that bad ether i mean it could of been a lot worse. I had a movie night with my cousin on friday we watched dazed and confused and drank yummy hot coco and got in a play fight. Then the next day my mom left for the night and came back the next day and all we did was yell at each other all night long then easter was an o.k day I have had better easter day but all well. Then the fallowing wednesday I got grounded for a month because i didn't come home on time. then i made like 4 new friends and i fixed things with old friends and ya that is pretty much all i did at least i didn't just sit at home and get fat all spring break. 

Board At Intervention So I Decided To Add More About My Life!

Well first of all my sister Nikkie finally had her baby she named him Jessie Kay Shaw. He was born on october 16,2010 Exactly a month after his moms birthday. He weighed exactly 7 1/2 pounds and he was exactly ounces. We LOVE him!

 I have been talking to Chabacca lately and well I don't we have ever been so close in my life. We have been talking about summer a lot and I mean a lot lately and we have decided sense it has been over 2 years sense we have seen each other and May 31 will me are 3 year mark and well we both start driving soon she is going to come stay with me for a month or so then I am going to spend a month with me and we are going to switch off. Im STOKED! Then once school starts we are going to do an every other weekend type thing. So in other words we are pretty much going to be like living together. I all ready have some of her stuff at my house and I get to start arranging my room for her that way she has a place to sleep and stuff. This summer is going to be freaking AMAZING! I am never going to forget it. We have started talking to are parents about it but they said that we can do it but they aren't sure if they want us gone for a hole month so if its not a month it will be every few weeks! Im so excited words cant even began to describe the way I feel about it right now. I just wish summer would come a lot faster then it is! 


Well thats all I have time for more about my life later!

More on my freakin life!

So lets see god I don't even know where to start and where to end with this one. K so Thursday May 20th I only got like 2 hours of sleep if that because for some reason I just couldn't sleep. Any ways so the night before May 20th so May 19th I was laying in bed and sense I couldn't sleep I just new right then and their that May 20th was going to be a really really really long day just because I had so much I had to do. So I told my self just don't think about it and maybe the day will go by some what fast. So I go to bed and next thing I know its time to get up and get ready for school. O BOY! I was so not excited for this I was so tempted to stay in bed that day because I just had a really strong feeling that I wasn't going to have a very good day at school for some reason. O god I really wish I would of  just stayed in bed but I didn't want my mom to get mad at me for not going so any ways I get up and ugh it just wasn't my freaking morning. First thing I do is go up stairs to eat breakfast and I found out we have no milk no bread no freaking nothing for breakfast! So I was a very angry person after that because I can't take my pill unless I eat some thing first and their was nothing to eat so I was going to go to bed but then I decided to just get ready and then try to fined some thing to eat. So I go to get dressed and realize I have like no freaking clean clothes but I found some thing clean that didn't look to bad and I put it on. Then I did my hair and make up and surprisingly that went pretty good. Then I go up stairs to look for food again and I finally just decided to eat ice cream for breakfast witch usually when I have ice cream for breakfast I am in a good mood for the rest of the day. So I was sitting on the couch eating my ice cream and watching TV then I started thinking hmmm this day just might not be that bad after all so the rest of the morning went pretty good. I took a Pepsi to school with me because they keep me a little more calm and focused. Witch I am so freaking glad I did that day or I would of been freaking screwed over like no other it wouldn't have been funny at all. Any ways so I go to my English help class thing and it went pretty good I guess I mean I got the last thing I need to have a passing grade in English turned in and I did a pretty good blog and had a pretty good conversation with my friends and stuff. But for some reason I never get yelled at for talking or any thing in that class witch hey I ain't going to complain about but any ways for some reason that day the teacher yelled at me in that class for talking. Witch I just kinda sat their and thought well OK this day Was going really bad this morning and then when I got my ice cream from their on it hasn't been that bad until the teacher got mad at me. So after he got mad I just didn't talk a hole lot and just surfed the Internet didn't bother any body. Now I don't know if it was just me but that class usually feels like it goes bye pretty fast but that day o my hell it felt like it was for ever freaking long it drove me nuts! I just wanted the day to be over after that class but of course that was only my first period out of 4. So for some reason when the bell rang to go to my next class all of a sudden out of no where I got this killer freaking headache. So I was just like what ever ignore it and it will go I hope so I walk to class and I don't know what it was but it felt like it took me for ever to walk to class but it took me the same time as it usually dose. So I sit down and I talk to my friends and we are just haven a good time. Then its time for class to start I was like O NO! ITS GOING TO BE A REALLY REALLY REALLY LONG DAY! UGH! So I'm sitting their doing a boondoggle and minding my own damn business and of course Mr. Murphy is going on about a storey that has nothing to do with geography so. I try to tune him out but his story is for ever long and he won't get to the point of it so I get irritated and say god just get to the point all ready we didn't ask for your life story but of course only the people who sit around me herd me because I didn't say it very loud. Now between the time going by extremely slow my freaking killer headache and freaking Murphy going on and on about freaking nothing I got really freaking irritated witch is weird because usually I don't get that irritated about stuff like that well I do when my head kills like that but I usually don't get to the point where I just wanna break some body's freaking face! At that point I didn't know what to do with my self because I was so Irritated and pissed off and you know all teachers say if you feel like you need to step out of class for what ever reason just ask and they will let you. Well with Murphy I wasn't even going to ask because when ever some one asks some thing like that he says no or he ignores you because he's a freaking D-BAG! UGH! You know I hadn't been going to that school for very long but I just never liked him right off the bat because he thinks hes funny and hes really not hes mean and annoying and I just never liked him but you know I never got in trouble in that class I payed attention when I felt like it because a lot of the times he goes on and on about freaking nothing and when he dose teach us some thing he would teach us the same freaking like every day for at least 3 days in a row its really annoying. So I'm sitting their in class and he is sitting their going on and on about freaking religion witch I thought they weren't allowed to talk about at school and he was telling us the same thing he had told us all freaking week. So I put my head down and I usually try to sleep when I have a headache because it usually goes away when I do but some times its just so bad that I can't sleep even if my life depended on it. And of course I have one of those headaches where I just can't sleep no matter how hard I tried I mean just laying my head on the desk made my head hurt even more. So I sit up and I'm extremely irritated and I'm like o my god what am I supposed to do to entertain my self. I just can't draw because it was pissing me off can't talk or the teacher will threw a fit and get mad at me can't do my boondoggle because it was pissing me off can't sleep because my head hurts. So I ask my friend what to do and she said idk I'm drawing. So I say UGH GOD HATES ME TODAY! So I sit their and all of a sudden I remembered I brought my book so I'm like I will read. Reading gives me a headache some times but I was willing to give it a try so I read about 3 pages and Murphy turns on a movie about religion. Witch once again I DON"T GIVE A FLYING F*** ABOUT! So I'm like if I read it will keep me calm and out of trouble. You know I hardly ever pretty much NEVER read and usually when I do that teachers get all surprised and they are happy that I'm actually reading for once. The usually ask what book I'm reading and I started reading The Heroin Diaries By: Nikki Sixx witch is a biography on his life and how drugs messed up his life and how he felt when he was on them and how he wanted to get off of them and how screwed up his life was and stuff. Witch first of all was my dad's book and him and my mom both read it and told me I should read it. So before I even started reading it at school I asked one of my teachers if I could read it and she said she had read it and she really liked it she didn't see any reason that I couldn't read it at school. She said just like my parents "I THINK ALL KIDS YOUR AGE SHOULD READ THIS BOOK." So I'm like OK awesome I did some of my reading work sheets on that book. This was when I was going to school in Orem witch I was like if I can read it at school in Orem I should be able to read it at Provo High but when I moved back down here I mad sure it was OK with some of my teachers if I read it and they said they haven't read it but they didn't care as long as I didn't share it with any body so I had been reading it for a while and of course I didn't ever share it with any body but for some reason that day in geography the teacher must of had some thing up his A** that day because I'm all most done with the page and the teacher gets mad at me and tells me to but it away I had a sentience and I would of been finished with the page. So I was going to finish the sentience and then put the book away but all of a sudden the teacher being the D-Bag that he is walks over and Tries to rip it out of my hands. So I close it and hold it close to me because you know its not his book its my dads so of course I'm not going to give him my book. So he gets mad at me and tells me I can give him the book or I can go to the office so of course I said " I'm not giving you my book." So of course hes like well good then you can just go to the office and give it to the Principal. So I said " Yup I can go to the office and give it to her." So he gets all butt hurt about it and goes and calls a tracker to come get me. Then he tells me that a tracker is coming to get me from class and I can explain to him why my book was more important then what was going on in class. So I said " That's cool I don't really care I will tell him that." Of course the teacher gets all butt hurt again and tells me to get out of his class. I said Ok smiled and walked out sat by the door and read another page in my book then he comes out and says "Just so you know one of the trackers are on their way to come get you and take you to the office where you can explain what kind of book your reading and why its more important then whats going on in class." I look at my book and go mmhmm." He got mad at when in side. Then the tracker comes and gets me and hes pretty cool about every thing he asked what was going on and I was like I don't know nothing really. So he asked me why I wasn't paying attention in class so I said "Well the teacher has been telling us the same exact thing every single time we had his class for like a week straight it was all about religion." The tracker says o all right well I you none religious and I was like ya pretty much and I was tired of hearing him say the same thing every day. So the tracker goes o well OK that makes since. Then he takes the book and we go to the office wear the Principal looks at it. She has me go sit out in the front well she scanned threw it. I look at the clock on my phone and put it away she comes out and asks me why I thought it was OK to bring that kind of book to school and I told her that I had permission by teachers and she looks at me like I stupid and says I highly doubt that now give me your phone we are still in school and you where just texting. So I said " Ya I know we are still in school that's why I wasn't texting so your not getting my phone." So she was like fine I will go get the school officer and you can give it to him. So I reply "That's cool you go get him. I'm still not giving you my phone so she gets all mad and walks and gets him." They walk over and ask for my phone I tell them know they get mad and pretty much call me a lire and tell me to give them my phone now they said they could kick me out of school for not listening to them so I was like do it and so their like o we will but we are going to get your phone first I was like OK. you have fun with that. Remind you I didn't get a lot of sleep that day so of course I was trying to keep my calm the hole time surprisingly I haven't yelled at all yet but at this point I fell like I'm going to freaking the F**K OUT. So I didn't know what to do I couldn't handle them yelling at me and I didn't want to freak out and yell at them because I knew it would get me in a lot more trouble then I need to be in. When I get stressed out I cry because I just don't know what to do so at this point I start crying and I tell them I'm calling my dad so I call and he didn't answer so I didn't say any thing I hung up and tyred again right after my dad answered so I told him I was in trouble again they took my book and their trying to take my phone and their going to kick me out of school again. So my dad tells me to stay calm and he will be their soon so I told him OK but I'm going to freak out soon I dint know how much longer I can stay calm. He says just don't really talk and I will be their as soon as I can so I said K and hung up then they got mad at me. They say why wouldn't you listin to us when a school authority is trying to speak to you witch they didn't say any thing when I was on the phone so I was like what are you talking about. They were like you know exactly what I'm talking about and I was like no I don't so they had me go in to the cops office close the door behind me and In the room was the tracker that came to get me the cop and some guy. They tell me I'm only going to ask you this one more time give me your phone so I sit down and I'm like why their like because you called one of your friends right before you called your dad right in front of us and I was like no I called my dad. So the cop looks at me and goes look you have never dealt with me before you don't want to mess with me I was like that's cool that's when they ask if Id rather be in hand cuffs and I was like I don't care wouldn't be the first time and their like no but it would be the first time and school and I was like actually no it wouldn't it happened to me last year then he asks for my phone I tell him no. He rips me out of my chair throws me and the ground and sticks his knee in my back where it had been killing me lately I tell him get his knee out of my back you cant freaking do this to me you have no clue its freaking hurting me and he looks and me and goes I can do what ever the heck I want because I'm a cop and then he puts more presher on my back. So I'm like you cant do this to me. He pushes harder I'm freaking balling at and I freaking scream bloody freaking murder at this point because that's just how bad it hurt so he gets me in hand cuffs and sets me in the chair. They ask me if I liked haveing to do it that way and I was like well no but it wasn't the first time and they ask me at least 7 more times if I had some thing like that happen at school before I told them the same thing every time Finally they look it up and The cop starts reading out loud then hes like wait she doesn't need to here this come read it. As if I didn't know what it said I was their it happened to me why they though I didn't need to know when I all ready know I have no idea. Then my mom and dad try calling but they have me phone so they look call him on the school phone and asked him if I had called him earlier and of course my dad was like ya so their like o OK and they start talking to him. Then they hang up and we talk about the book and they sit and say I'm a lire no body would ever say its OK to read that kinda book expecally at school and I was like well I was told I could and they called me a lire because I didn't remember the teachers names who said I could read it because I hadn't been going to that school for very long. Then they ask where I even got a book like that And I said my dad and they have the guts to look at me and say to my face then you dad is a terrible father for letting his 15 year old daughter read this. I was like ya OK my dad is a terrible father mmhmm and their like ya he is a terrible father then they say you cant even get that book in Utah when my dad bought it at the Provo town center. Their like why do you think its OK to bring a book like this to school if you cant even fined it in the Provo or Orem library. Why do you think you cant even fined it in a public library in Utah and I said because of all of the freaking Mormons here. He gets all butt hurt and says Mormons have nothing to do with it witch they have a lot to do with it. Then I tell him you know what I'm done talking to you because I feel like I'm talking to my dog except my dog would actually understand me and listin to me and my dog is a lot smarter and cuter then you. Then they locked me in a dt room tell my dad got their and they had talked to him they finally come get me take the cuffs off and I walk back to his stupid office where they tell my dad they don't know what they are going to do with the book they don't know if their going to give it back my dad said its his book he paid for it their giving it back so they gave it back to him then the stupid principal walks in and tells my dad that I have to go to Independence next year and they have all ready enrolled me their and that I was expelled pretty much from Provo high because they said I was done for the year then they said that I'm not allowed on Provo high campas unless I went their witch I cant go their because they all ready signed me up for Independence so ya I'm pretty much ban from Provo high. That's pretty much my freaking LIFE. The good part is my parents weren't mad at me and I didn't get grounded this time. Ha they were pissed at the freaking school though. So ya more on my life later peace! :D

What would make a perfect vacation??

Honestly I think the perfect vacation to me I would have to say is any where out of Utah. Only because I have never in my life been out of Utah. but if I had a choice of where to go for the first time I would chose to go to Canada. I have heard that it is a really cool place and the language is not very different from the language that we speak here. So it wouldn't be very hard to learn it and I know a few people that where born their and they say its really pretty and they would give any thing to go back their but in some places in Canada its all ways really cold. When I went to Canyon View Jr High I learned about a mall in Canada in my geography class and that's what got me interested in Canada. I learned that they have a water park and a amusement park in it and I learned that its one of the largest malls in the world. When I seen pictures of it it got me excited and ever sense I have wanted to go to Canada. I really like the way they talk to it makes me laugh Because they don't talk a hole lot different then we do but they still talk different I don't know why but any body that talks different then we do it makes me laugh but not in a bad why like because I think its stupid or some thing just because its cool because it makes us sound kinda stupid. Ya I would like to live in Canada for a little bit or at least take like a 2 week long vacation their some time in my life but in tell then hey a girl can always dream can't she. :) If I ever do go to Canada I think I will take lots of pictures just so I can remember going their but I would do that if I ever go any where out of Utah witch I am hoping to do when I get older I at least want to go to 3 places out of Utah before I die That would make me the happiest person in the world especially if I go to more then 3 places out of Utah before I die. 

JUST SOME RANDOM QUOTES THAT I LIKE. :)

A rose without thorns is like love without heart break it just doesn't make sense. 

Misshapes are like knives, that either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or the handle. 
Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.
My love lies bleeding. 
Real loss only occurs when you lose something you love more then your self. 
Relationships are like glass sometimes its better to leave them broken then try to hurt your self putting it back together. 
Sadness fly away on the wings of time.
Sometimes I wish I was a little kid again skinned knees are easier to fix then broken hearts.
The best way to mend a heart is time and girlfriends. 
Turn your wounds in to wisdom. 
Their is something beautiful about all scares of what ever nature a scare means the hurt is over, the wound is healed, done with.
The weirdest thing happened the other morning... I woke up with tears in my eyes... And one rolling down my cheek... And I knew I must have been dreaming of you again.
Their are things we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live with out but have to let go.
Their are times when I can't decide weather to see you or not I want to see you because I miss you but their are times when I don't want to see you because every time I do, the fact that you don't see me the way that I see you hurts me even more.
What Is the opposite of two? A lonely me, a lonely you.
Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, witch I find myself constantly walking around in the day time, And falling in at night. I miss you like hell.
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.
If your going threw hell keep going.
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
I expanded with the joy of your love and presence but now that your gone I just feel bloated. 
the scares you can't see are the hardest to heal.
Let no one who love be unhappy... even love unreturned has its rainbow.
I'm holding a tear drop for a friend until has heartache and misery end.
Until I was 13 I thought my name was shut up.
For me there are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
Women: Cant live with them, can't burry them in the back yard with out the neighbors  seeing.
Sometimes, when one person is missing the hole world seems depopulated.
Love is like a puzzle. When you're in love, all the pieces fit but when your heart gets broken, it takes a while to get every thing back together.
You flew off with the wings of my heart and left me flightless. 
As soon as forever is threw I'll be over you.
The heart is the only broken instrument that works.
God can heal a broken heart, but he has to have all the pieces. 

More on my life hr

So my 15th birthday was on may 12. It was pretty freaking awesome if you ask me. let me run you threw that day. So I get up all though I didn't want to I don't even get out of my room before I get attacked my dog buddy. Then I walk up the stairs I am still pretty much a sleep and my mom freaking scares the crap out of me. Then my parents sing happy birthday pretty much all morning tell they went to work. then like 10 minuets before I have to leave for the bus my cousin came over brought me a balloon and some lay necklaces and suckers. Then we walk to the bus stop and she freaking silly strings me but its all good because she gave me the silly string after. Then I go to school and They school day goes by pretty freaking fast. I got so many happy birthdays from strangers and friends mostly from strangers. Then I went home and took a nice long nap then I woke up and we went to Los three amigos and then we went and got my birthday cake it was so cute and yummy to it was an ice cream cake. Then my parents gave me my birthday present witch was a really cool card and 50$ and then my cousin came over again and gave me 20$ and that's pretty much all we did but it was fun any ways. Then the fallowing Saturday I went camping with my aunt for her birthday it was pretty freaking sweet because I hadn't been camping in a few years so it was a nice change we went camping up at maple lake we went fishing their and I got sun burned really really bad but it was worth it because I caught my very first 2 fish ever in my life so I really didn't care that I got sun burned but any ways we ended are camping trip early because me aunt got sick the next day. Then yesterday we had my family party it was pretty fun I guess usually their a lot better but I ain't complaining. I would have to say the worst part of my weekend was when    Chabacca texts me and said that she doesn't know if she is still going to come down this summer because her parents want her to go to Cali with them. But she is still trying to convince them to let her come down and visit her friends and family they are down here so it mad me kinda sad but not really because she said their is still a chance she is going to come down here this summer so I mean its not to bad but it was still the worst part of my weekend because I mean I haven't seen her in 2 years now and so just the thought of waiting a hole other year to see her sucks. But ya that's my life not very exciting I know but all well nothing I can really do about it.

My life as we speek

O my goodness I don't even know where to start with this one. OK so about a month ago I started talking to one of my best friends named Desa who I hadn't talked to or seen cents I was hit by that damn truck any ways that made me that happiest person ever! I honestly didn't think I could be any happier tell like 2 weeks later I started talking to my old friend Cynni who I haven't seen or talked to cents like 5th grade. Then about 3 weeks ago that's when I started talking to my other best friend Chabacca who I haven't seen or talked to cents the last day of school in 7th grade because she moved to price. So I got even more excited then I was before. At this point I seriously didn't think I could get any happier then I was it just wasn't possible. But then on freaking Wednesday I got really pissed off at school for no reason and that just killed my good mood. Like I seriously wanted to beat the living crap out of some one at this point because I don't really know why but I am usually really talkative in my 8th period class like I wont shut up the teachers are all ways yelling at me to shut up and work but you know I get distracted really easy so that's why they are all ways yelling at me. Any ways so Wednesday in 8th period I was working on my A+ and surprisingly I didn't talk at all when I was doing it and It took me like 15 minuets to finish one apple because it was really confusing and it really frustrated me. Witch is weird because usually when I am on the computer no matter what I am doing I dint get frustrated it actually normally calms me down. So I was going to do another apple so I get threw the reading part and I start taking the practice test and I realised that the questions had nothing to do with what it told you in the reading part of it. So I got half way threw at this point I have been on for a half hour and all of a sudden I get this really big freaking headache my headache hit so hard that me head fell on the desk and I had a hard time holding it up and I had an even harder time concentrating I still haven't talked to any one at this point and now my head just heart so bad that I didn't feel like doing any thing but sleeping but you know I couldn't sleep because I was in class. So I was just like you know what I'm just going to read my dads book it will help get my mined off thing so I wont be so frustrated and maybe my head wont heart so bad. so I read for like a half hour still haven't talked to any body just did my school work witch is weird because I never do my school work in that class. Any ways so I read for a half hour and my head was just killing me way to bad I couldn't take it any more I was to frustrated and stuff and we only had 15 minuets of class left so I was just going to lay my head on the desk and try to sleep tell the bell rang. Its really weird because most people cant tell when some thing is wrong unless they have known me for a while and this kid that I sit next to in that class barley even knows me and he could tell that some thing was wrong how do I know. Well when I was lying my head down he asks me if I'm OK and I was like ya why hes like I don't really know your just usually full of energy and really talkative in this class and today you haven't said a word to any one and you look really depressed. So I was like no I'm fine just got a really bad headache and so hes like are you sure and I'm like ya then all of a sudden the teacher walks over and gets mad at me because I ain't doing my work and blah blah blah and I told her I had been doing school work and we just got in to an argument about my grades and stuff and this went on for 15 freaking minuets at this point the bell should ring any minuet and all I want to do is go home and they bell rang 3 minuets later then it was supposed to witch pissed me off even more. So I was in a bad really bad mood for the rest of that day. But then last Thursday I found out that Desa moved back to Provo and that shes going to Provo high from now on. So I got really excited because I haven't seen Desa In all most a year now and just when I thought my life couldn't get any better of course it didn't it only got worse. So I woke up Friday morning and I was thinking to my self today is going to be a good day. So first thing that happens I woke up later then I was supposed to so I didn't have a hole lot of time to get ready so when I was doing my hair it decided it hated me and didn't want to work for me so it to me for ever to do. But I still thought I was going to have a good day at school o hell no you know I usually don't get in trouble in my 2nd period class witch is my first class on even days. So I usually like going to that class o but not Friday well at first I was happy to go but then for some reason the teacher decided to get mad at me and make me exit out of my blog before I was done just to work on some thing I didn't even know how to do. So he got all mad at me what ever I did it the way I thought it was done and that was that so I was pissed off. But I wasn't  going to let it get to me I didn't want it to ruin the rest of my day but I got to 4th period class and for some reason the teacher just likes to go on and on and on in that freaking class about freaking nothing and so that class all ways feels like it goes by extremely slow. And I have to sit behind Kelsey in that class witch for some reason she thinks she also has to go on and on and on about nothing as well witch pissed me off even more. But I still wasn't going to let it get to me so I go to the bathroom after 4th period and fined out that I bled threw my freaking pants so I was really pissed off. Still wasn't going to let it get to me. So me dad said he would come get me but tell he got their I had to go to 6th period witch is sewing and for some reason the teacher all ways gets mad at me. So I go to sewing and she has us clean the machines an she takes the blowy machine from me before I was completely done and she gets on up in my face and starts yelling at me because I was getting cheeked out and didn't finish what I was doing so she yells at me and I was so close to hitting her in the freaking face but then I just do what I was told and left then I was pissy for the rest of the day in tell about 8 o clock that day. That's when Skyler came over and hung out for like and hour witch made my day after that. Ah! I couldn't have been any happier then I was. :D Then yesterday I don't know it was just really weird I just got really mad at my mom like usual because she was just doing her usual pissing me off all well I got over it because I just didn't want to have to put up with it at the time. So any ways I was talking to my friend Chabacca and she told me she is coming down here this summer for at least a month witch o my goodness I haven't been this excited in a long time but then I started thinking I am going to cry when I see her because I haven't seen her in all most 2 years. Then I started thinking I know for fact I'm going to cry when she has to leave because I know I ain't going to be able to see her for a long time again but You know what HELL I'm still really freaking excited and cant wait to see her! then today I realized I turn 15 in 3 days. 3 DAYS! I CANT WAIT! because I get to start taking drivers ed really soon WOOHOO! So ya that's my life lately pretty intense I know! :D

Teachers

Ugh have you ever noticed how most teachers are up tight, mean and grumpy all the time? Where most substitutes are laid back and don't really give a dang what you do as long as your working? Well I have all ways wondered why that is because every time I ask some one they all ways say I haven't noticed or I don't really know honestly. I think one reason most teachers are all ways so up tight, mean and grumpy is because they have to put up with the same kids every single day they don't really get a break from them except for on the weekends so they have to put up with the same crap every freaking day. But when their is a substitute they usually only know a few kids so they don't really know whats going to happen they don't have to put up with the same kids all day every day they usually work with a hole bunch of different kids so they are nice and laid back if you are respectful to them. Where with a teacher the kids usually don't care how they act. Honestly I think we should have different substitutes every day in stead of having this up tight teacher that likes to yell at you for their mistakes. I think if we did that or had teachers who are all ways laid back, happy and didn't really care about what you did as long as you were doing your school work. I mean if that's how it was maybe I would like going to school a lot more and maybe kids wouldn't be so pissed off all the time. I could be extremely wrong but honestly I don't think I am on this one. :)

free Write

Wouldn't it be cool if we could wear what ever the heck we wanted when ever the heck we wanted to with out getting in trouble for it. Ha ha if your like me you would probably want to walk around wearing nothing you would walk around naked twenty four seven ha only because close are over rated. Honestly I think cents guys can walk around with no shirt on girls should be abel to do it to as long as they have a braw and pants on it shouldn't matter. Its not fair how guys can pretty much do what ever they want when ever they want and they don' really get in trouble for it but when girls do it they get in trouble for it. I think its bull that guys get away with so much more then girls do its not fair! Because girls life's are so much harder then boys life's if you ask me cents girls have it so much harder we should be able to get away with a lot more then we do a lot more then boys do at that. I think god hates girls or some thing or he's just trying to prove that girls are stronger then guys because girls can stand a lot more pain then guys can. But honestly I will never know because I am not god so I couldnt tell you why guys get it so much easyer then girl. Honestly I thin girls should be able to wear what ever they want when ever they want even if it means they want to walk around naked they should be able to. But guys shouldnt be able to becuse I mean come on its only fair with how much they get away with and how much work girls have to do to get by in life I mean really girls should get at least this one thing but you know I could be wrong mabey I am the only one that thinks this but I honestly dout that. :)

How dose music fit into your life?

Honestly music is a huge part of my life with out it I would go nuts because music is what keeps me sane with out it i would be the most sad pissed off person in the world. Ha ha I couldn't imagine my life with out music its just not a pretty picture because all I ever do is listen to music well I mean I do other things but i am all most all ways listening to music. I listen to it when i am drawing, out side, in the shower, going to bed, in class on the buss, in the car, at the store I mean I could go on and on but I am not going to. With out music theirs just no point in life because theirs a lot of people who count on their music to  support their families and stuff. I don't really have any thing to say about music besides I LOVE MUSIC! I really like music concerts to they are the best thing ever I mean I honestly I think their is no such thing as bad music I think every one should be just like me and  love all kind of music their is no body should dislike any kind of music at all When I hear people say they hate certain kinds of music I just want to hit them in their face as hard as I possibly can because they usually say they don't like it because they have no meaning to them theirs no back ground story their like every one I have ever meet that hates country music say that but that's a lie because I have never herd any country song that doesn't have a good back ground story good meaning to it. Honestly I think the word HATE is a mean word and it just shouldn't be used because no body ever has a really good reason on why they hate some thing or some body so when people say it about music they should be shot because their is no reason for it I mean music helps you stay happy and get by in your life so saying you hate one kind of music is like saying you hate all music and if that's the case you need some serious therapy.

Summer plans

Well I say this every year when some body asks me the same question I all ways say I have no idea and I probably wont know tell summer comes and even then I bet I wont know tell I go do some thing but I am most likely going to have a lot of sleep overs with my amazing friends, go swimming, lay in the sun and tan a lot, take lots of long walks on the provo river trail, sit at home on my butt doing nothing all day, water fights and I am hoping to go camping at least once this summer but I honestly don't think that is going to happen but hey a girl can all ways dream cant she. Honestly I think thats about all I am going to do this summer because thats all I really ever do in the summer ha kinda boring I know all well its seems exciting at the time being. Ya so I would have to say this is probably one of the shortest blogs I have ever done mainly because I don't really have any thing to right about my summer planes yet because I don't have any at the moment but I will hopefully have some exciting ones soon at least before summer but you never know any thing could happen at any moment or nothing could happen for all I know ha ha.

Fast Food.

Ha ha honestly fast food is funny I mean it taste really good but I just think its funny because every body is all ways complaining that every body is obese and that they need to cut back on the greasy food but yet they continue to build all these fast food joints. I think if there wasn't so many fast food joints people wouldn't be so fat. I mean like theirs people like my family where we eat fast food a lot more then we eat home cooked meals so if their was less places to go people would get sick of eating the same thing over and over that they would start eating home cooked meals more because they would have more of a choice on what to eat. Then again this world would probably be a sad place because every body is so use to having all of these choices on what they want to eat and where they want to eat because if they take away fast food places every one would all ways be pissed of because their would be times where they don't have time to cook its just easiest to just pic up food well your out and about and their wouldn't be any place you could go to get it. Ha ha but I am like most people they would say are obese because I eat fast food all most once every day but honestly most people know how to control what they eat so if they eat out all the time then they wont get to be over weight because they know when to stop eating and stuff where their is some people that just eat and eat and eat because they don't know when to stop. I think its good that they keep building all these new fast food places because I like have a big variety of things to chose from.

Free write

Grades why do they give you grades in every class at school??? I don't think any body really knows why ha ha I know I don't really know why they give us grades in ever class. Honestly if you ask me I think a grade in every class is cool because I don't want it to be every year you all ways with an A or every year you pass with an F because that would suck and their would be no point in it at all. I honestly think they should only have the choice of A,C and F because all grades really go off of are weather you show up to class and weather or not you turn in your assignments if you show up and only turn in half your work then you get a C if you turn in all of them you get an A and if you don't turn any in you get an F. Honestly I think if they were to grade you like that it would be so confusing. I think they should at least give you a C- witch is steal passing but they should give you a C- just for showing up for class I mean if they did that people wouldn't slack off as bad but that's just what I think I could be wrong though. Ha ha but if your like me I don't think it would really matter because every year my grades aren't all that great tell close to the end of the term. That's when most people get better grades. My grades are all ways straight F's but occasionally I have one D- ha ha in tell about 2 weeks before the end of the term that's when I get all but 2 or 3 of my classes up to C's or D-'s. Ha ha because you see i am a lot like most of the people I know I will do the work when we are supposed to so it would be done and we could turn it in on time. Ha but with me and over half the people I know we do the work and stuff so we can turn it in on time but ha we never turn it in on time because most teenagers are very forgetful so even if they have it done and they know they have it done they just cant ever remember to turn it in on time. So that's why so many kids turn in all this late work 2 weeks before the term is over because they know they don't have any other time to do it. so pretty much what i am trying to say is I honestly think grades are over raided and my life would be so much better with out them. :)

If you had all the money you wanted, what would you do this coming weekend?

If I had all the money I wanted I would go by a really really nice expensive shiny car and a really nice shiny phone. I would go by lots of food sense we don't have in at home. I would go shopping at the mall by lots and lots of clothes and stuff. I would save a lot of money for the future weekends and needs and stuff. I would probably rent a hotel with my friends so I wouldn't have to put up with my parents for the weekend. :) I mean what's better then spending a weekend with all your buddy's and no parents and spending tones and tones of money. I mean I think that's like every body's dream I know its mine that's for sure. But I mean lets get really here This is probably never going to happen it might get pretty close but I doubt this will ever actually happen. I would probably go see a few movies. :) I would also by a would by a really nice 4 wheeler. Oh, I would by lots and lots of skull candy head phones because I go threw head phones like little kids go threw candy I don't know why I guess its just because I listen to music a lot. So I would by a hole bunch and stash them some where in my room because if I didn't every body in my house would steel them. so I would by at least 150 that should last me at least 2 years. I think thats pretty much all i would do if I had all the money I wanted for a weekend. :)

What do you think about Cheerleaders?

Honestly I think that elementary school cheerleaders are freaking adorable. Middle school and high school cheerleaders need to freaking die in a hole. But college school cheerleaders are the freaking bomb their amazing! Honestly the only reason I cant stand middle school and high school cheerleaders is because their really annoying and they think their all that and a bag of cookies they think if your not popular they cant talk to you in fact a lot of them think if your not a cheerleader your not even worth talking to. But honestly I have all ways wanted to be a high school cheerleader ever sense I was a cheerleader in elementary I thought they where the coolest thing ever and I thought they where really pretty in tell I hit about like 7TH grade that's when I noticed that their not all that great. But I have all ways been told that I should be a cheerleader because I am really loud and pretty up beat most of the time and because I am really flexible. My mom even told me I should be one but she said if I become a cheerleader the minuet I start acting like all the other cheerleaders like I am all that and a bag of cookies she will take me off the squad. But I honestly I have all ways said if I ever act like them I will kick my self off the squad because I cant stand the way most cheerleaders act. If i was on a high school cheer squad the only time I would even talk to any of the cheerleaders on my team is at practice and I probably wont even talk to them a hole lot then. Most cheerleaders are act fake and I cant stand talking to people like that for longer then I have to or else I end up punching them in the face. I honestly think if their was more people like me that where cheerleaders the world wouldn't hate them so bad because they wouldn't be so fake! Honestly I like college cheerleaders because they have boys on their squads so they get to do all these intense stunts and stuff and its just exciting to watch where high school cheer squads are not all that great to watch their actually kinda boaring to watch but most of the time even if it looks boaring its a lot more exciting if your the one doing it. So honestly I hate most cheerleaders but theirs a few some times that I don't have a problem with.

My best friend/dog Buddy!

<--- See this dog. Ya the dog right there the one the arrow is pointing to. This is Buddy Budword. We usually just call him Budword but some times we call him Buddy mostly when he's in trouble. He is the cutest dog in the freaking world ask any one. Every body that has ever met my dog falls in love with him even people that freaking hate dogs end up falling in love with this freaking dog. Like my dad and my grandma they cant stand dogs at all but when ever they see Buddy there eyes just light up. Even the pizza guys fall in love with him. Buddy is the most lovable dog in the freaking world he loves smothering every one with kisses all the time no lie he pushes you over pins you to the floor and kisses you all over he's so freaking adorable! He is only a few months old and he's all ready freaking giant i swear he was like 2oo freaking pounds he's a freaking fat dog. But the name Buddy fits him because this dog cant stand being alone being by his self even if some one is in the other room he goes crazy he all ways has to be by some ones side. Now you see buddy is a special dog because he dose not look like most boxers this is a pretty rare dog you don't really see very many boxers like Buddy. O another thing about buddy Is we swear he has a.d.d because he dose not act like normal dogs he dose the weirdest freaking thing we think he thinks he's a kangaroo and a horse and pretty much any thing but a dog. Buddy is the most racist dog in the world he dose not like any body that is not white he cant stand he wants to rip their freaking heads off and we cant figure out why its kinda funny. Well ya thats pretty much Buddy for ya pretty exciting dog I know. He fits in are family really good because he is strange just like us well me at least ha ha.

If you could be any character in a story who would you be? explain why.

If I could be any character in a story I would be an invisible vampire. I would be out all the time even in the sun shine scents I am invisible and all the sun shine dose not affect me like most vampires. Why because it would be the coolest thing ever, I would be the only invisible vampire ever made. Lets be honest here who wouldn't wanna be a freaking awesome invisible vampire and the only on at that. I mean its way better then being a freaking dog with super powers or some thing lame like that. I have all ways wanted to be some thing that is invisible and that can transform in to some thing and fly. I mean that would be the coolest thing ever to bad it will never happen but i mean a person can all ways dream right? But then again I have all ways wanted to be a lot of different things like a rock star be we all know thats not going to happen because i cant sing or play any thing. So even if you put your mined to some thing you cant all ways do it even if you try you hardest but you can all ways dream. If i was an invisible vampire i think i would fly most of the time I mean i would walk some times but I mean why walk if you can fly. and i would constantly fallow people and play tricks on them mess with their heads a little bit I know thats not very nice but hey i never said I was a very nice person now did I. Im pretty sure any body else would do the same thing if they where invisible wouldn't they? Ha ha halloween would be the best time to do it that and april fools day o man that would be priceless. Thats pretty much all I would do if i was an invisible vampire.

what is your favorite fiction book? what makes fiction books good?

My favorite fiction book is Leven Thumps And The Gate Way To Foo. I think in order for a fiction book good he has to be extremely fake but it has to have at least some things that are really in it but mostly fake. It should have a lot of detail in it so the reader will get more in to the story. It has to be able to suck people in to it tell they have read the hole thing. Most of the really exciting fiction books all ways leave you guessing at the end of every chapter and and the end of the book most of the time. I think the best way to make a fiction book is to make it a movie first and then make it a book. most of the books that they mad movies first sold a lot of books because a lot of people watch the movie and then want to read the book to see if it was any thing like the movie. A lot of the times the movies are way better then the books well at least i think they are but who am i to say any thing about it i don't read books my self some one has to read them to me or i just don't read it because i cant hold still and focus for very long. Thats another thing that makes fiction books good books is if they have pictures in it because their are a lot of people that don't want to read a lame 400 page book unless their are at least a picture in each chapter but it would be even better with more pictures then just that. More people are fans of the fiction books then non fiction because fiction books are more adventure like where non fiction are more like biographies on people i mean no body wants to read that even if their is pictures. Well their is some non fiction books that people like to read like that one i am reading now but thats besides the point. My point is it really don't take a lot to write a good fiction story all you really have to do is have a really crazy out their wild mind and you have to be able to tell a crazy made up story that makes cents honestly thats all it take well for most people in less their like me some people are better at telling stories then writing them so if thats the case you can tell the story and as you are telling them your story as them to wright it down for you plain and simple that really all their is to it. At least thats all i think their is to it but i could be wrong i mean after all i have never written a fiction book but i have read a few and thats pretty much the basics of all of the books i have red.

My thoughts and feelings about being grounded.

My thoughts about grounding are honestly I think if you get grounded or punished their should be a good reason for it. Like if you broke the law or some thing big like that. I don't think its right when people get grounded for having bad grades. I understand why some people get grounded for stuff like bad grades because their parents want them to do good in school and graduate on time with all their friends. But I think its stupid when people get grounded because their not passing all there classes with a B+ or higher. I think its point less to ground kids when in all of their classes they are passing with a B- or lower i think you should only ground kids if their failing one or more classes with an F but even then i don't fined it all that fare because some kids cant pass all there classes with a C or D. I honestly think that if you get grounded it should be because you stole some thing or got in a fight or you have missed so much school that you had to go to court for it honestly if it has some thing to do with breaking the law or going to court then i fined that fair. I don't think adults should be able to ground you just because of your grades or because you did clean the house when you were told to. adults should only be able to take things away like your phone, ipod, TV, TV privileges, Computer privileges stuff like that. Unless you wont clean your room and it looks like a black hole witch U am pretty sure all most every teenagers room is a black hole then thats when you make them sleep in a room with nothing in it and wont let them in their room to get any thing unless they are going in their to clean it. I honestly think their is no reason to ground some one unless they broke the law in any way shape or form. I know all kids say its not fair when they do some thing wrong and get grounded for it because they do have to learn from their mistakes but their is other ways then grounding to teach them what is wrong and to teach them how to learn from their mistakes. Well most of the time their is other ways but some time some people try every thing they can and the kid just wont learn thats when you ground them. Ha then maby just maby so many kids wont say ( I swear they grounded me just because they can.) or ( I swear they grounded me just because they realized I haven't been grounded in a while.) If you think about it this is why so many kids are all ways so pissed off its because they are constantly grounded for stupid things. I think if adults weren't allowed to ground kids for little things I honestly think the world would a better place to live or at least just a little better.

what should you do if you or a friend are thinking about suicide???

Well honestly i think if a friend is thinking about suicide you should talk to them. Try to fined out exactly what is going on with them and their life. Try to figure out how you can help them with their problems. If they tell you what happened and you cant think of any way to fix it you can all ways think about things that help you get threw life. Share some personal experiences with them. let them know your all ways going to be their for them and you will try and help them in any and every way shape and form. If that dose not help tell them they should talk to an expert some one that deals with people that have problems like that all the time. I would hope that their was a way to make them change their mined about every thing and make them think twice before doing things like that. Just make life fun and live life to the fullest. One thing i for sure would not do is give up all hope for them or just give up on them period.

Honestly if i was thinking of suicide i would talk to all of my friends about it ask them what i should do to help get my mined off of it. i would just talk to people and fined out what the best thing to do about the problem is and see if any body has away to fix it and make me think twice about every thing. then i would try my hardest to fix it on my own. If that did not help i would talk to an expert about it. i would hope that their was a way to make me change my mined about every thing and make me wanna live life to the fullest. I would try my hardest not to give up on my self and life.

I hope me and any of my friends never actually get as far as actually killing them self or trying to kill them self. If so i will just think to my self i wish they wouldn't have done it but I would all so sit and say to my self you cant change the past. For get about the past and focus on what is a head of you. I would all so say to my self every thing happens for a reason even if you don't all ways know what the reason is. Every thing happens because god wants it to if god didn't want it to happen then it wouldn't have happened. So pretty much nothing happens unless god wants it to.

About me! :)

My name is Amie. I am 14 soon to be 15 in may. I am in 9th grade. I have 5 people in my family including my self. I have to sisters no brothers and my parents that live with me. I was born on may 12, 1995. i lived in Provo most of my life. I am a very random person. I get a long with most people really well. I guess you could say i have had a pretty intense past like year and a half. last year like the end of the first month of school i fell in the shower and hit my arm on the soap dish busted the soap dish and split my arm open all the way to the bone! It was sick! I had to get 15 stitches for it i got 4 on the in side and 11 on the out side. Now i got this nasty scare on my elbow where that happened but on the bright side the doctor said i got look and missed all the major nerves and stuff. then i got kicked out of school (expelled) on my birthday last year. I was in the process of moving up to Orem on my birthday as well. I was really excited to move up to Orem because i had lived in Provo my hole life and because my best friend had moved up to Orem the year before. We thought we would be going to the same schools but we were wrong we went to different schools witch sucked but all well nothing i could do about it. So after i moved up to Orem my other best friend moved up their and i thought for sure she would be going to the same school as me or my other best friend but i was wrong again all 3 of us went to different schools witch made me mad because i didnt know any body that was going to my school. Then 3 weeks before school started i was hanging out with my best friend and i got hit by a truck on state street. The truck hit me i flipped landed on my face and slide across the road but it did not knock me out or brake any of my bones or any thing like that at lest that is what the doctor said. It just messed up my face and made me look sad i was not allowed to look at my self in the mirrors for like 2 weeks because every time i did it made me wanna cry because my faced looked so sad. Then the day before school started i barley got registered for canyon view jr high so i all most did not get to start school on time. Then like 3 weeks after school started one of my cats that we have had for 17 years was dieing so we had to put her to sleep o that was horrible it feels like your sister is dieing o that was the sadest and hardest week after that day. then like 3 4 months after my mom had some thing removed from her body and they removed it just on time the doctor said if we would of waited any longer my mom would have died. This year i have not been going to school a hole lot between the days i have went to school and the days have not went to school i have missed more school then i have went to this year its because i did not have any friends at school i was a loner every time i would make a friend at school the would move within the following week or so. I finely started making friends at school 4 weeks or so ago. and a week later i got locked up. I was in dt for 5 days i come home and fined out we are moving by the next weekend we have to be moved out so now that i had started making friends i was the one moving witch sucked. We finely moved back to Provo and every thing has been going great so far i hope it stays this way. So that is a little bit about me and my life hope you enjoyed reading this!